We are all from different backgrounds and upbringings. This article pertains to the parent who is raising their daughter to be best prepared for the current world we live in, as it relates to relationships.
Relationships are complicated (though they don’t always have to be). Men and women think and move differently for countless reasons. Granted. However, there is some truth that dances around the topic of why certain women want what they want and how it is attached to their version of a fairytale life. Parents want their children’s dreams to come true. These “dreams” that manifest are planted and molded by what we, as parents, idealize and deem as important.
Many of these girls, from a very young age, hear the princess stories and develop a need and/or want for a prince, a castle, and everything that comes with it. The “fairytale” that resonates and slowly takes hold is one that starts with a romantic, whirlwind courtship that eventually culminates into a little girl’s big dreams of a highly anticipated and long-awaited wedding. The wedding represents the beginning of what is expected to be a life filled with rainbows and butterflies. What happens when life happens and rainbows turn to clouds and butterflies turn to bees? How long do you stay under a roof where it is always raining inside and the love now stings?
The droplets that shape the mind as one grows from child to woman, while being surrounded (or in some cases constantly bombarded) by the princess fairytale stories can prove consuming and unavoidable. How can we give our girls the freedom to dream (wherever their hearts and minds may take them) and yet prepare them for life’s nightmares?
BALANCE, VIGILANCE and PREPAREDNESS
It would be wise, to make sure as a parent you do not solely perpetuate the “fantasy” but also interject (when appropriate) the “reality” that relationships are not perfect. It would also be prudent to steadily instill strength in our girls and show them how to use one’s instincts and common sense to self-diagnose when a relationship requires re-evaluation and if necessary, the strength to be severed (all the while promoting the importance of one’s “emotional well-being”).
What is the reality? People change as they get older – we are ever-evolving. Who we are in our 20s is different from who we are in our 30s, 40s and so on. Sometimes we embark on relationships that although feel like our version of what we have been looking for, end up proving otherwise. In other words: do not just focus and revel at the prospect of a blissful relationship — we should also be discussing what happens when one is in the midst of one and it turns toxic. What does the path look like that leads to a healthier state of being? And in some cases, and most importantly, not being afraid of having to end a relationship that you know in your heart of hearts needs to be ended.
Life is about experiences. Sharing great times and doing what we can to indulge and reach optimal levels of happiness. What’s the point of being with someone if they do not assist in helping us reach this euphoric state? We can be sad, depressed, and feel every negative feeling in the world all by ourselves. Why waste time with someone who contributes to our emotional troubles? Life is hard as it is, and more importantly: SHORT. I will say it again: life is short. Relationships are complicated and people get into them and stay in them for countless reasons. But how do we know when we should move on? There are so many factors to consider, and EVERYONE’s situation is different. But simply speaking, if you don’t find that the good times outweigh the bad, you may want to consider a change in your life.
Just remember, being in a HEALTHY relationship and state of being is paramount.