Question: Why didn’t my new crush wait for me until I was ready to date him?


Dear Miss Penny,

I recently broke up with my Ex.  There is someone new I have had my eye on lately.  We got to know each other for about two months when he decided that he wanted to start dating me and wanted to take our relationship to the next level.  I was hesitant because I just didn’t feel like I was ready or over my Ex.   After I told him this, he started to date one of my friends.  What did I do wrong?  Do you think this is my fault? 

Thank you,

Miss Totally-Confused

Dear Miss Totally-Confused:

You did not do anything wrong!  When there is a break up and the relationship is over, it is normal to experience sadness and feel like you are not ready to get into a new relationship.  In fact, it is healthy and advisable to wait until you emotionally heal before you jump into another relationship with someone else.

Every good relationship is built upon a strong friendship.  If the guy you had a crush on was able to move from you to another girl (yes, even a friend of yours) so fast, I would assume that the two of you did not have a very strong friendship.  I would also have to question his character just a bit if he chose to move on so fast with a friend of yours.  Every situation is different, but that doesn’t sound very cool of him.

Of course it is not your fault that this person did not wait for you!  To be honest, it may have been a blessing in disguise – meaning, it may be a good thing that this happened because now you are able to see how quickly he was able to find a connection with someone else.  Before giving anyone a chance in your life, it is best to form a friendship…some sort of “bond” with that person.  Because when you have a bond, the guy will think twice before hurting your feelings…why? because he actually cares about you…

Do not worry about missing out on the relationship that slipped through your fingers.  Work on healing yourself from the last relationship and remember: if something is meant to be it will be!