Ah, the good ‘ole college days. I would describe them as probably one of the most eye-opening, exciting, tear-jerking, and emotionally confusing times of a person’s life. Why is college such an interesting yet crazy time? Well, because for the most part, it is the first time young adults are away from their parents and left to their own devices when it comes to making decisions about friendship, love, and an often underrated (but more important) topic: their future.
How you handle the overload of stimulation and the very many decisions you have to make during this time will honestly shape you as a person. It will be the time in your life where you end up making tons of mistakes, learning the most about yourself and other people, and sadly…where you can have the most regrets if you are not careful.
So…how do we #LiveLifeWithAsFewRegretsAsPossible?
You try and be as wise as possible, as early as possible in life.
The school year started about 6 months ago, and many Freshmen are a few weeks or even a few months into their first relationship (or what they think is their first relationship). Here is a common question I have been getting lately: “We just got back from winter break and I found out my boyfriend cheated on me!”. What do I say to that? Well, guys, this article is for you and for your girlfriend/ex-girlfriend. You got busted and she is pissed. What do you do? Or better yet what should you have done? Why on earth would you get “boo’d up” so quickly into the school year in the first place? You are bound to meet more than one girl that you will like on campus. There is nothing wrong with DATING!!! This is the time to get to know a bunch of new people and have a bunch of friends. Why are you limiting yourself?
Guys: if you find a girl that wants to keep you under lock and key tell her: YOU ARE TOO YOUNG for that. If she doesn’t understand, make a new friend. I am not telling you to be a player. On the contrary, I am telling you to make meaningful and healthy connections with friends of the same and opposite sex. Get to know people. Another piece of advice: if you just got busted, do yourself a favor: don’t run after her. Take a deep breath. Re-evaluate. Take a step back and form a friendship with her if she is worth it to you, in the not-so-distant future. If she is acting like a raging, lunatic and can’t stop cussing you out because you cheated on her, give her time to breath. She will come to you sooner or later, when she is in a calmer more logical state-of-mind. If she doesn’t come back…then let her go…it wasn’t meant to be.
Ladies: if your boyfriend just cheated on you and you are pissed, sad, upset, etc. You need to also: take a deep breath. Take a step back and ask yourself: why did this happen? Right now, you are most likely accusing him for being a liar and a cheat…and blaming him for hurting you. But honey…allow me to tell you the “tough-to-hear” truth: why are you mad at someone you just met? Why were you so quick to get into a relationship in the first place? You just got to college. Relax. Here is an even bigger pill to swallow: while girls are keeping their eye out for a guy they can hug, kiss and cuddle and call their own, boys are turning their heads every time a pretty girl passes by them. And how could you blame them? Your college years are the first time you are all put in a situation with so many people your own age. You all have your hormones raging and a natural human instinct emerges causing you to be curious about people of the opposite sex (or of the same sex) in an intimate or sexual way.
Here is something more that you will not want to hear but is very true: you will one day look back on your college days and realize how inexperienced and foolish you were. You will wish you had waited before making decisions that cost you emotionally (or cost you even more than that).
Ladies: you have your entire life to fall in love, meet that special someone, and experience all the pleasures life has to offer you. Take this time to focus on school…and make LASTING friendships. And most importantly, REALIZE and ACCEPT that boys (like girls) shouldn’t be getting so serious so early in their lives about a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Keep your options open. Legs CLOSED, eyes and ears opened!!! You never know who may cross your path. You can either be a part of the masses and just like every other silly girl out there who doesn’t know better and jumps into a relationship eyes shut. Or you can be the diamond in the rough, that special girl some amazing guy has been looking for all of his life.
Guys: you are the MAN when you tell a girl that you are not looking for anything serious. They have to respect the maturity in that decision. They can’t hold you to anything if you don’t promise them anything. Let them make their own decisions when it comes to getting involved with you on any level. If they do end up getting hurt, the only one they can blame will have to be THEMSELVES. This way of thinking will groom you into being an honest man, well-respected, and admired by many…especially the ladies. Trust me! There is nothing sexier than a man who says it is what it is. Jump on my roller coaster ride or don’t get on at all! Take your time in getting to know the ladies and choose wisely before you give them the privilege of claiming you.
As I always say at the end of my articles, if you heed my word, I wish you the best of luck in forming amazing bonds with many friends that could potentially last a lifetime and perhaps one day even turn into ever-lasting love with a special someone. And for those of you, who either think they know better, cannot grasp what you have just read, or would rather just “do you”. Well, I would just say be careful. And please stop wondering why things don’t work out for you…why you keep getting disappointed…and why you keep getting your heart broken.
By: Dear Miss Penny